On this day, in 2009, I wrote the following in my journal. Adam and I had been talking about engagement for a little while, but due to finances, and timing, I didn’t believe it was going to happen anytime soon.
“…and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe…” Ephesians 1:19
You absolutely possess immeasurably great power, Lord. You also own all the money in the world. You own every diamond engagement ring as well. Surely you are powerful enough to provide just one for Adam and I. We have a living God in heaven, whose power is immeasurably great. It truly cannot be measured! Why wouldn’t You want me to trust You for engagement? Only You can provide for this need. Grow us through this trial of patience and endurance. You are our only hope in life, and for this need we have…
During that season, it was all too easy for me to hope in fleeting things – Adam’s affirmation that we were moving forward, the hope of engagement on the horizon, and his financial situation. Those were some favorites of mine that I frequently clung to. If I’m honest when I look at my life today, not much has changed. There is always something my weak hands attempt to grasp on to for hope. Those (often) good things will inevitably fail, but will never satisfy my greatest need.
The truth is, I am not my own (Romans 14:7-8), but have been bought with a price. I belong to God, body and soul, and my hope must be in Him alone, in life and in death. I belong to Jesus. He is the only One I can find full assurance of salvation in. Since I’m saved by grace, I’m not my own. Since Jesus gave Himself completely for me, I lay down my life for Him.
There is no hope in the fleeting things of this world. As wonderful as they may be. Family and friends, spouses and children, dream jobs, beautiful houses, and engagement rings. They won’t satisfy the gaping chasm in our soul that can only be filled with Christ.
That’s the amazing news of the gospel. My deepest need has been met through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. When I’m faced with trials, I must look at it through that lens.”The good news about my trials is that God is forcing them to bow to His gospel purposes and do good unto me by improving my character and making me more conformed to the image of Christ,” writes Milton Vincent in (affiliate link) A Gospel Primer for Christians, page 32.
What beautiful truth for each of us to cling to. There will always be trials, and waiting, and pleading with God to meet our needs. He promises to meet them all (Philippians 4:19), and He knows what they are before we even ask (Matthew 6:8). But let’s not forget that our greatest need has already been met in Jesus. He lived the perfect life that we could never live, was crucified, and resurrected. Now, those who are in Christ are justified and adopted into His family for all of eternity.
He is our only hope in life and death.
So, how much longer did I have to wait for an engagement ring, and the question that would rock my world? About 24 hours.
To my absolute shock, Adam proposed the next day.
Tomorrow is our engagement anniversary, and it was a day (my favorite day) that changed the trajectory of both of our lives. Adam told me he loved me for the very first time, asked me to be his wife, and my knees were physically weak for about three days after that.
I’m not even joking.
God gives His children good things (Matthew 7:11). He is the dream-maker, and dream-fulfiller. Marriage, and this man I’ve been gifted, are very good things. Thank you, Jesus!