It’s been a while since I’ve posted any updates about our adoption process. I’m not holding out on you, I promise! There’s just currently nothing of significance to share.
A little over a month ago, we completed our home study visits with our caseworker, Nancy. She visited my parent’s house (where we are currently living), met with my mom and dad, walked through their home, and spent a few hours with Adam and I. Since Adam and I are living with my parents, they need to have background checks done as well. When we move into our new home in October, Nancy will need to do a brief walk through once we are settled in there. Mom and dad have been wonderful sports through this whole process, doing all that is necessary to make sure we can be approved to adopt ASAP!
Adam and I also had an afternoon training session with Nancy shortly after our vacation to Cape Cod. We’ve spent a pretty significant amount of time with Nancy and it has always been beneficial. We’re so grateful for her knowledge, and experience with adoption through foster care in Connecticut. We KNOW we are in great hands and that she will advocate for us well.
One exciting development in this process has been our openness to the number of children we are willing to adopt. It’s always fun to look back on our plan and what we thought would be best (one infant adopted domestically) versus what God has been leading us to and opening us up to.
If you’ve followed our journey over the past two years, you may have known that we opened our age range up to toddlers and young children back in June 2012. While living in PA we were simultaneously a part of the domestic infant program with our agency, as well as the statewide adoption network (children from foster care who need homes). During that time we heard about quite a few situations with two children, biological siblings, who needed a mom and a dad. Our hearts began to grow in some pretty big ways for sibling groups.
The reality is that sibling groups are much harder to find a family for than a single child. We’ve been learning from Nancy that many couples in Connecticut are open to adopting two children, but it’s the rare couple that will take three, or more, children into their home.
Do you see where I’m going with this? I probably looked like a deer in headlights when Nancy said to us (with all sincerity and truly no hint of pushiness) “I think you guys could handle three. What do you think?” Long story short, we are now very willing to consider sibling groups of three. Not only that, but we are sort of HOPING for a group of three kiddos! We get pretty excited when we think about having an “instant family” possibly very quickly.
Since we are one of only a few couples in the state of CT open to adopting three siblings, Nancy thinks this could happen very quickly for us once we are approved, as long as it’s the right group of three. Of course there are never any guarantees. It’s going to be a ginormous challenge if our family grew from two to FIVE overnight, (who am I kidding, it would be crazy just going from two to THREE overnight!) so we will need serious wisdom to decide if situations we are presented with are ones we feel comfortable taking on.
So, here’s where we need prayer (besides the obvious where we’ve gone a liiiittle looney and agreed to consider adopting three precious, amazing, kiddos!). It would mean so much to Adam and I if you would pray for the following pieces of paperwork to arrive on Nancy’s desk VERY soon. Like this week. Or next. At the latest. Those very necessary documents are: my fingerprints, my mom’s fingerprints, and my background check from the state of Virginia.
These three pieces of paper are holding up the entire adoption process. We cannot be approved, and matched with children, without these pieces of paper.
I recently made a phone call to the Background Investigative Unit to try and push things along, but they didn’t seem terribly moved by my story (c’mon people!). My hope needs to be in God, and His sovereignty, alone. He knows where our fingerprints are. He knows who our children are. He knows the exact moment when they will join our family.
As Christians, we have free access to the throne of grace to boldly plead our case before the One who knows it all. The BIU may not listen to my case, but I know God hears my every word. Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, would you boldly ask the Lord to move on our behalf? Just like in Luke 18, the parable of the persistent widow shows us that we “ought always to pray and not lose heart” (Luke 18:1). If an earthly UNJUST judge would grant the pleading, persistent widow her request for justice, HOW MUCH MORE will God, who is a JUST judge, “give justice to His elect, who cry to him day and night?” (Luke 18:7).
Please join us in praying for justice, friends. Justice for the thousands of children who are waiting to be adopted here in the United States, but are “stuck” in a broken system. It maddens me that it has taken this long for a few pieces of paperwork to come back, allowing us final approval to bring up to THREE children into a safe, loving, nurturing home, where all of their needs will be met.
I often let these things slide, submitting to the fact that “that’s just the way the system works” and “adoption is a long process.” I so desperately wish it wasn’t this hard, but I don’t have the slightest idea how to change the child welfare system in the US. I know there are countless individuals working to advocate for these children, and for them, I praise God.
Your prayers on our behalf, and more importantly our children’s behalf, are treasured.