I’ve been writing this post in my head for many months now, knowing that it’s an important one. I pray I communicate this clearly, in love.
Adam and I are frequently asked how we came to a decision to adopt. We love sharing the story about how God made it abundantly clear, through His Word, that adoption is what we need to pursue right now. There is no question about that.
Adoption is Plan A for our family.
In our conversations with very well-meaning people (who we love dearly, and know they love us too!), we are often faced with variations of the following responses:
“Don’t you want your own children?”
“You know, you’ll probably get pregnant right after you bring your adopted child home.”
We’re learning that the general population views adoption as “second best.” It is considered something a couple must settle for as Plan B for their family, since Plan A didn’t work out.
We absolutely disagree.
Adoption is not Plan B. We believe in a sovereign God, who has perfectly ordained our steps. The fact that we (or any other couple) are adopting is no surprise to Him! It never has been!
For every family that has adopted, it is Plan A.
For some couples, health reasons, or infertility, has led them to adoption. This is still Plan A.
The general assumption is that since we are adopting first, biological children are not an option for us. We have no reason to believe we can’t get pregnant one day. At the same time, we don’t want to assume we can, either. We certainly hope to welcome a child/children through birth, one day, if God wills it!
All we know is that God has made it very clear, through studying Scripture, that adoption is the way we are to grow our family right now. This is Plan A for us.
Whatever happens in the future for our family – it is still Plan A.
God has placed adoption so heavily on our hearts. Through months of prayer and research, He has made it clear that this is the path we are to walk on. We trust Him because He is trustworthy, and has always been faithful.
I know this may not make sense to much of the world. God’s ways are higher and greater than our own. All we can do is follow His leading by faith, and trust in His perfect, trustworthy Word. He is always good, and we don’t want any plan but His!
Any child that we welcome into our family will be real, and will be our own, whether through birth or adoption. They will be our own just as God made us His own, through Jesus. We pray that others will come to see this as well. More importantly, we pray that they will see the gospel, and be led to know the adopting heart of God, and His grace, in a more profound way.
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.” Proverbs 19:21
(I had the courage to write this post after reading similar thoughts (more beautifully put) from another adoptive mom).